I thought I would take a break from my Olympics watching / squid making to blog about some crafty goodness and other things… I made this tripod commission a few days ago and used wool felt for the first time and I am absolutely smitten. The felt cut like butter and was so easy to work with. It looks fantastic. I don’t know if I can ever go back to any other type of felt. If only wool felt wasn’t so expensive! Alas…

In other crafty news, Jason of Red Hot Robot is hosting a really cool Plush Show coming up in October that I am going to participate in and he is currently accepting artists for the show. Shoot him an e-mail if you are interested. His shop is awesome and I think the show is going to be killer.

I have a bunch of squids cut out and by tonight I should be nearly caught up on commissions and I will also have squids IN MY SHOP by the end of the week. I haven’t had an actually squid in my shop in over a year I think. Pretty crazy. Everything I have made since that first one I put in my shop has either been a commission or for a show. :)

In the meantime, whilst you are waiting for squiddy goodness, enjoy some photos of Dingo:

Today I laid in bed after work and closed my eyes tightly and thought about how I wanted to live in house with a huge lovely white kitchen where I could cook dinner for the person I love every night, in a city that inspired me, where I had friends and felt moved to create. Where I had a lovely, airy, light room filled with my fabric and sewing machine and creations. With a lovely yard that my dogs could prance around in freely. I thought about wanting to be happy. Desperately.

Instead, I write in my superfluous blog.

my blog where I have to censor myself. my blog where I can’t post certain photos or write about certain things. and I wondered if this dream I felt inside me was fantasy that can’t ever exist for me.

I wish I was better at cultivating motivation. Some nights I swear I come home from work, let my dogs out, heat up a burrito and lay in bed with my computer from that moment until I wake up the next day. I do absolutely nothing aside from reading my rss feed, watching TV I’m not even interested in on ABC.com (Wipeout is kind of addictive) and perhaps chat with Ravi if I am lucky. I am having trouble getting myself out of this funk. At this very moment I have a tripod commission to complete, one squid trade and two squid commissions to complete. I am terrible! I just get so.. I don’t even know if I can call it depressed anymore. I am not exactly depressed. I am more apathetic than anything. I’m without my muse. And I am also heart wrenchingly lonely. This is the longest I have ever gone living alone, and it is terrible.

I must force myself to do something. I must plush tonight. This is getting out of hand, my dears.

I do have veggie hotdogs to look forward to tonight. I just need to buy ketchup. And perhaps an onion.

Here’s a recent GIANT gangly plush squid commission I just finished. The photo below is a size comparison to the last squid I made. Phew, I worked right up to the deadline, but I was really pleased with how he turned out. I wish I wasn’t in such a hurry and had taken better photos. I was rushing to the post so I didn’t bother to change the background.

In other news, if you are waiting on a commission from me, FEAR NOT! I am working HARDER, BETTER, FASTER… to get everything done so that I can actually make some stock (hopefully squiddys!) for my shop.

Why does this dress have to be $36? I really want it.

a photo one of Ravi’s friends took of him in Jim Corbett park in India. Click the picture for a little more info on flickr.

Sometimes when I see happy people, or I read the blogs of people who appear to be happy it makes me feel sick inside. I guess this is probably jealousy…  I want to wake up in the morning and feel joy in my heart. Or at the very least feel content where I’m at.  I just feel like nothing I do is ever going to make that happen. I feel so stuck in the situation I am in… and it is true. I cannot physically make happen what I want to.  It is so frustrating. Sigh….

In other news I cleaned my kitchen tonight. It is not completely done, but it felt really good to make a dent in part of the mess that is my house and life. When everything is this messy, it makes you feel even more out of control than you actually are.  I just wish I felt stability… and I don’t know.. is it wrong to feel like I deserve to be happy?

Do you hear me,
I’m talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I’m trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart

You make it easier when life gets hard

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don’t know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I’ll wait for you I promise you, I will

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we’re in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I’m sailing through the sea
To an island where we’ll meet
You’ll hear the music fill the air
I’ll put a flower in your hair
though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you’re all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I’m lucky we’re in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

- Jason Mraz Ft Colbie Caillat - Lucky

As many of you know, and probably many don’t, Ravi and I met online on deviantart.com about.. oh.. two and a half years ago. And I’m so glad we did!

Ravi lived here with me in Tucson up until February, when he received his Masters in Material Science Engineering and had to move back home. Shortly after that (April 7th) he left for India and has been gone for THREE MONTHS now.

But he is coming back soon and I am trying to scrounge up some cash so we can see each other and have a super, happy love fest <3

So here is where you come in! I am offering my Little Felt Tripod monster’s at a SMASHING price. They are $12 each with $2 shipping. They are custom made and can be ANY color combination you like!

Help me out if you believe in LOVE!

Also here is a Gangly Squid commish I recently finished. I love the way this one came out, I think it is probably my favorite so far.  The pattern I found for the inside of the legs is just so great.

ANYWAY! Today should be pretty fun as Dingo and I are headed over my friend Lou’s (she has a mini dapple dachshund too) to SWIM! and work on our website. We’re starting up a dog photography business together ( http://www.buttswirls.com ) and I’m pretty excited about it! I’m also pretty excited about swimming as we’ve had 100 degree weather for weeks now and I haven’t swan since last summer, I think!! And usually Dingo will get in the pool as well if it is hot enough. :)